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  2. BREAKING NEWS: Ex-guitarist of For Today, Mike Reynolds to burn in hell for all of eternity

     
     


  3. Pig Destroyer to release American flag-shaped picture disc

    (Source: punknews.org)

     
     

  4. Kris Roe Gives World Another Reason to Not Listen to The Ataris

     
     

  5. Escaped Pussy Riot Members Rumored To Be Hiding In America

     
     

  6. Thousands Worldwide Cover Faces With Dirt For What Must Be National Stza Day

     
     


  7. The Office “Leaks” Bomb the Music Industry! Demos, MegaUpload Goes Down in Rampant Search

    Internet pirates everywhere shed hurricane waves of virtual tears last week when the popular file-sharing site MegaUpload was taken offline without warning.  While initial reports were linked to the FBI and a response to virtual protests against SOPA and PIPA, new evidence has surfaced, and the true cause of the downtime has been traced to an unexpected source – NBC’s The Office.

    Once the episode aired, many Internet forum users noticed something familiar in the background of last week’s episode, and shared the speculation online. With rumor that Bomb the Music Industry’s Get Warmer demos may have leaked,  MegaUpload’s servers were scoured top to bottom in an effort to unearth the blissful audio perfection that the band has held hostage from the world.* The site was simply unable to handle the traffic, and even a full week later, it remains offline.

    Our professional audio team decided to dig a little deeper and provide us with an in-depth analysis of the clip. With observations of depressing lyrics, a god-awful sounding drum machine, and something that sounds sort of like a synthesizer, our team declared it was officially a Bomb the Music Industry! song. On day three of research, the team emerged from their audio booth to confirm it was a demo for the pop tune “Jobs Schmobs”. But later, they re-convened and announced their mistake. It was actually the poetic “Showerbeers”. And still, minutes later, the decision changed again to “Future 86″. At that point, our team called it quits with the official statement: “Did anyone actually hear that? We quit. That last guess isn’t even a Bomb the Music Industry! song.”

    So there you have it – the Punk’dnews exclusive coverage of the MegaUpload takedown. Leave your thoughts in the comment section.

    * The “Get Warmer-gate” fiasco of 2007 was spawned by a typically aloof public statement by frontman Jeff Rosenstock. Nerdy fanboys and fangirls scoured the bombthemusicindustry.com domain name, Google, unofficial bootleg site snevesneve.com/btmi, torrent sites, and the like, but they were never found.

     
     


  8. Silverstein Records NOFX Cover, Forgets Words

    Some band called Silverstein is releasing a new record early next year called “Short Songs”. But because of their financial restrictions (they ARE part of the 99%, after all), they can only afford to record songs that are 90 seconds or less. One of their choices was NOFX’s classic “It’s My Job to Keep Punk Rock Elite”. Unfortunately, since they don’t have much money, they also could only afford one take at recording each track, and they sure did screw this one up.

    Vocalist Shane Told admits he is “extremely embarrassed” to have mistaken the classic line (and also the title of the song), “it’s my job to keep punk rock elite”. He accidentally sang the words “it’s your job to keep Punknews elite”. One MIGHT think this is a clever reference to mock the litany of brilliant Punknews.org commenters, but he confessed later that he just screwed up the words.

    “I mean, when I think of punk rockers, I think of people who have jobs and read the news. It’s so clear to me why it happened, but it’s still embarrassing. I only wish we could afford to have done one more take.”

    You can listen to the gaffe via our enemies at Punknews.org.

    (image stolen from http://www.flickr.com/photos/23538379@N06/)

     
     

  9. Christian Group Raises $80,000 in 12 Hours, Punk’dnews Unsure Why This Is News

     
     


  10. Occupy Gainesville Set To Become Laziest Occupy Wall Street Spinoff

    The non-violent demonstration best known as Occupy Wall Street is stronger than ever. Started by a passionate few, the “We Are The Union 99%” movement generally insists the government stops bailing out corrupt corporations and starts bailing out the bottom 99% of Americans. Since its inception, it has spread to hundreds of other communities and the population of last weekend’s rallies have been estimated in upwards of 30,000 people.

    The Occupy movement has grown so large that even the media conglomerates being protested have no choice but to acknowledge it on air – however they have been attempting to spin the protests as nothing more than stereotypical hippie drum circles. Emphasizing the archetype of a college liberal know-it-all has plagued the seriousness of the movement. Unfortunately for those protesters trying to dodge stereotypes and achieve real change, next week’s protests in Gainesville, Florida are not going to help.

    Gainesville’s own No Idea Records is responsible for leading Occupy Gainesville – or as they’ve code named it, “The Fest 10.” The festival is based around performances by live bands who sing protest songs through loud PA systems, but oddly enough, the crowds just yell right back at the bands. This circle jerk of political frustration seems like it could be literally the most unproductive of efforts, but this protest seems to have a multitude of ideas that will do nothing to punish corrupt big business. Let’s look at some of these travesties.

    • The protesters are meeting in a Holiday Inn, one of America’s largest chains of hotels.
    • The festival is sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon, which recently sold to an investor for about $250 million.
    • Instead of filling out the lineups, the organizers are making a band called Mystery Band play thirteen times.
    • Lifetime isn’t even playing.

    The leaders of various other Occupy movements are certainly not happy about the plan for Occupy Gainesville. One leader anonymously contributed the following quote:

    “It doesn’t even sound like a real protest at all. It’s just going to be a bunch of ex-college students on their iPhones, playing acoustic guitars, bringing their poor dogs along, and taking naps every four hours. That’s not productive, that’s embarrassing and annoying.”

    No matter what goes down on next weekend, you can bet this editor will be nowhere near Gainesville, Florida next weekend.